Do You Know?

Courage

Do You Know?

Do you know what it is like to be diagnosed with PTSD?

Do you know what it is like to have no idea, along with your family, about PTSD ahead of time and then be faced with the shock of this diagnosis?

Do you know what it is like to know it has not only affected you but everyone you love and care for?

Do you know what it is like to have to defend how and why you got it, over and over again?

Do you know what it is like to face this illness unsupported and with stress of not knowing if you will have a career to support your family in the future?

Do you know what it is like to have those you put your life on the line for and with, whisper behind your back or not look you in the eye anymore?

Do you know what it is like to fear the moment you lie in your bed because it means the start of the hell that will not leave your mind?

Do you know what it is like to have to try and keep it together when you’re faced with things that constantly remind you of your horror that lives in your head because it’s your job to do so?

Do you know what it is like to shut down completely because your fear and anxiety have taken over your every emotion and thought?

Do you know what it is like to believe you are strong and capable of dealing with anything to realize some things were not within your control?

Do you know what it is like to go to therapy only to have it make the imagines and horror stronger and almost unbearable?

Do you know what it is like to have your spouse express their fear of not wanting to leave you alone because they has an overwhelming image of you hanging in your laundry room?

Do you know what it is like to know the leadership of your police force believes you are weak or not a capable person while you are facing your PTSD head on?

Do you know what it is like to have your doctors tell you and to learn if you had had training, support and care before or after your Trauma this all could have been avoided?

Do you know what it is like to have your spouse live with their immense guilt for their ignorance in not seeing the PTSD for what it was, and instead reacting with anger to the changes in behavior, pushing you away?

Do you know what it is like to be crippled and broken by this illness but still find a way to stand and fight to face your horror, to heal and be well again?

Do you know what it is like to have successfully overcome all of these adversities and your PTSD but have no one within your force acknowledge your accomplishment?

Do you know?

By Lori

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