No one taught me how to read and recognize a Member in distress

Train Them to Come back!

When I took my police training from two different forces over the years I learned many things. How to deal with aggression, how to deal with noncompliance, how to read a suspect and how to interview a suspect or a witness. I learned how to deal with the citizens and criminals that came in and out of my life. No one taught me how to listen to my workmates and hear their pain, no one taught me how to read and recognize a member in distress. No one taught me how to talk to a fellow officer and listen to them. So I watched them turn to booze, and drugs of all kinds, and hit the bars and clubs and some of them to have affairs. I watched gentle souls of amazing intellect become jaded, tough, mean, surly and brutal and then one day I was not watching them anymore. Now I was becoming one of them. making choices where I put strangers ahead of my family, where I became the center of my universe and where anything that would dull the pain was my best friend. My wife saved my life with no training, no skill, set no help and no resources, she just gave me a choice on a calm quiet day after a week of hell. I took the challenge and I swallowed my pride (it actually tastes real good and goes down smooth, more people should try it) and asked for help. So now even though I am retired I listen, and I reach out and offer to listen and I get phone calls and emails and I tell them all the same thing, the only way to make it stop is to get help and yes it may “affect your career”, but it will save your life. So in the end of it all, if you value your career ahead of your family, and hide to save it but lose yourself in the process then your retirement years will be cold lonely bitter years indeed. My wife and kids and future grand kids are my life now, and since I retired I have not heard from those on high who ran my life for so long. Once you retire the force is nothing but a memory and to them you are just a person they no longer employ.
David J Hale


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