Love is in the air; yes it is St-Valentine’s day just around the corner. My wife and I will be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary in a few months. When we talk to our friends and family, they always say what perfect couple we are. They looked upon us as a perfect couple that you would watch on a day time prime show. If only they knew the truth that went on behind the closed doors.
There arrived a time about 19 years back, that this happy home was spiraling down fast. Financial problems, new move, kids and a newborn to contend with were starting to take its toll. Did I mention that I was diagnosed with a severe depression that they called a “burn out” back then. I was going to therapy once a week and going to work every day only ended cancelling each other out. In fact, work was getting worse and the therapy was not helping me any longer. Problems continued to surmount and I was drowning. I had nowhere to go and very little options. I made a decision that I thought would be best for me. I went to see a friend of mine who was a lawyer, and I wanted to know about the process for divorce and how it worked. He was surprised to hear this coming from me, but asked a few questions I gave up the answers, but when he asked me if I still loved my wife, I stared at him, and I did not answer. He asked again, as he thought that I did not hear him, but I did as his question was rolling around in my head. The bottom line was that deep down I did love her. I made a plan that for the weekend I will send the kids to their aunt’s and my wife and I will have a long talk and decide a few things.
My wife was happy with the idea of having a weekend alone together but she was not prepared for what this weekend entitled. I told her about the lawyer and question of divorce. I told her how I felt at work and dealing with things there. I told her about the therapy and how it was not working. She did not say a word but listened to every word. I think she was waiting for the words, “I want a divorce” but they never came. I told her that I loved her and the kids very much. I told her that it would tear me apart not having them in my life. She took me in her arms and I cried. She told me that on Monday that I would go see my doctor to get the time off to get back in shape. Then I was to go back to therapy and work with him to get my mental health back. She was not distant, but there for me. We worked together to get our relationship back in order. It was this weekend that we started to fall in love once again. Based on our past, and working together with the present, we were able to get over those bumps in the road, all the detours that life brings us. It was because of Love that we survived and the will and courage that we both had to produce to make it work.
Now 10 years later, I remember that weekend as if it was yesterday. It was the day that I found love again with the same woman I fell in love with 30 years ago. All I can say is thank you my Dear for being there for us. I Love YOU.