May your love heal and strengthen as your Member heals

Valentine's day

Here is my valentine history lesson. 40 years ago in 1974 at the age of 17 I met the love of my life, two years later while in the Police Academy we were married both at the age of 19. We grew up a lot in those years and at the age of 27 our only son was born to us after being told my wife could not conceive. In 1998 the force I was with was absorbed by the RCMP. Huge upheavals from April 1997 until I was offered a position in December 1997, and my wife and I began having panic attacks but neither mentioned it to the other. My wife was always there through my career especially when I was injured on duty in a collision and as a result of the injuries I was off work for 44 months and two back surgeries on half pay. We lost our home and our bank accounts were wiped out but we hung onto each other way back then in 1992 this is a love made to withstand adversity. In 2005 my life started to fall apart, at home I was a rageaholic and at work I was a workaholic eating up all the work they would feed me. My son confronted me during Christmas 2006 and I went for help in January 2007, during all my therapy and treatment I continued working full time front line. Front line despite being diagnosed with PTSD, Anxiety and Depression, oddly health services never said a word. My wife finally made me come home on a very dark day and book off sick on February 01 2010 and stood by me during the harassment and ill treatment the scorn and ridicule I was the subject of when I could not return to duty. In January 2012 I left the RCMP on a voluntary medical discharge. I have not looked back and now I am able to try and make up for the years of misery I brought to my marriage. My wife has been my guide through this crazy path to peace and equilibrium. I keep telling her I am sorry, but she just tells me I am not that man anymore. When I lost faith in myself she was there believing in me, when I fell down she reached out to lift me up and when I cried and fell apart she listened and heard me. If your member has PTSD the best thing you can do this Valentine’s Day is make them tell you in their own words how much they love you, no bought cards, just real words. May your love remain strong and may your love heal and strengthen as your member heals.
David J Hale


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