Hopefully I can be happy again and become the person I once was

If only people truly knew what we go through on a day to day basis. And only if our upper management team cared. But they don’t. That’s why they denied me 90 days off without pay when I put in a request so I could fix my issues that I have obtained through years of service on my own time. But I love their response. No, you can’t take 90 days off without pay because of man power and operational requirements. But they have no issues transferring someone to another area without replacing them first. So I am supposed to continue to work while I am not operating at 100% capacity mentally and physically. That means I get more complacent at the job I do on a day to day basis no matter how routine people may think it is. Not only do I put myself at risk but the people in my community I am supposed to keep safe. There are major issues with the system and it will never change which is so unfortunate. You look at how many good members that have left in such a short period of time just in this detachment alone for the same reasons and it’s staggering how much they don’t care. No one ever asks the question how are things? Is there anything we can help you with? Do you need help, do you need some time off etc. Well, I finally made my decision like others to move on to better things even though it hurts me to leave the job I love so much and dreamed about all my life as a kid. But that’s ok. I can look myself in the mirror each night knowing I did everything in my power to serve the public for the province of Alberta and within my community with dignity and honour. I will go it alone and get my counselling and pay for it out of my own pocket and on my own time because they wouldn’t assist and allow me the time needed to heal. I am so glad I had amazing co-workers to work with during my years of service that in my opinion allowed me to go home safe to my family on some of those complacent nights. Now I will be included as another statistic as a member with mental health issues as a result of the job like so many others. I will have to search deep within to find what is hurting me the most and hopefully I can be happy again and become the person I once was.

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