From a cops wife PTSD

I am the wife who, as soon as I hear his work phone ring, I instantly forgive him/ apologize for the fight we just had because I may never get the opportunity.

I am the wife who watches my spouse go days without sleep because of his troubled mind, and listens to the terrible noises he makes when he does finally sleep because of a call he went to weeks prior which is still imbedded in his mind.

I am the wife who just refilled my prescription for depression because I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I am the wife that suffers from nightmares of her husband being murdered.

I am the wife who moves every 1-2 years to a new post, to a new town, farther from family, to a new job, our children to a new school so that we may stay safe.

I am the wife that hugs her spouse a little tighter every night, knowing that there are people like you out there, watching, and waiting.

I am the wife whose life is also in danger, her childrens lives are in danger, because here husband wears a badge.

I am the wife that watches her husband come home and struggle, struggle to function day to day with all his build up anxieties, struggle to turn off “the cop”, struggle to speak to me after an awful call, sometimes for hours.

I am the wife that sometimes feels overlooked because he is so tired he has forgotten our anniversary, my birthday and yet, I am the wife that is so proud of my spouse, I am proud of the career he chose, I am proud that he is strong enough to be a police officer, I am proud that he makes the choice to put on that badge after he has been beaton and broken down by the media, and even his peers everyday. I am proud that MY spouse has what it takes.  Can you say that about your spouse?  Are you strong enough to do what my husband does? Is your spouse strong enough?


One thought on “From a cops wife PTSD

  1. Well said and thank you and your family. Because of the sacrifice you make me and my family feel safer and are so appreciative of what your spouse and his co- workers do every day,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s