I am not ashamed to admit that I do have PTSD

I am not ashamed to admit that I do have PTSD, the nightmares, the triggers, the very bad days where you think there is no help.
I share this experience cause for me personally, the weeks and days leading up to my annual training were filled with anxiousness and the willingness to just give up and cancel, avoid it….I did not want to give this “injury” more power on me, consume me further; However from what I learned from professional help, is that I needed to face these new challenges head on, and to keep telling myself to “bring myself back to the present”
I know deep down inside that this is just “training” – We have to prepare for this, cause I know personally it is inevitable and it can happen.

My coworkers / friends who bleed blue know that we have to, and we will go towards that threat, we will NOT give up, we will give everything we have, cause unselfishly, that’s what we signed up for.

At times, I wanted to give up through this challenge, however on June 4, 2014, Moncton, NB while running through the carnage; 3 friends /co-workers / Heroes, paid the ultimate price- they DID NOT give up. I take solace in knowing that;
And the least I can do, is to fight through these challenges.
Although emotionally draining, I do feel that a small weight was lifted off my shoulders; I got through it with some peer support and great instructors.

There is hope out there, the sun does get brighter as days go by. #thinblueline #rcmp #ptsd #training #hope

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