I am the PTSD Spouse, Part 2

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I am the one who started to see glimpses of the old life.

I am the one who drove to every appointment.

I am the one who encouraged you to leave the house.

I am the one who helped you to find a new “normal”.

I am the one who was still there when you found your laughter again.

I was the one who said maybe THAT part isn’t about PTSD, maybe THAT part is something every parent feels some days.

I am the one who walked beside you while you did the hard work.

I am the one who meditates with you.

I am the one who didn’t panic on a bad day.

I am the one who sees you as you are now. A strong brave man who wasn’t afraid to admit he was hurting and faced this demon head on and chooses every day not to let it win!

By Jess

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First Responder walk for PTSD, Cst. Ariane Muirhead’s family walks in support of her.

From the First Responder walk for PTSD in Halifax, Cst. Ariane Muirhead’s family walks in support of her.

Bobbie-Lynn Muirhead was there to show her support of her sister, who is an RCMP officer.

“Her whole life (she) wanted to be an RCMP officer. She had some PTSD-related issues and she’s still with the force so we’re here in support of her” she said.

Muirhead said she hopes the Halifax community recognizes how serious the condition is.

“It’s a real thing. These people are putting their lives on the line every day and it does affect them“She said.

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End of Watch, Moncton June 4, 2014

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Remembering/Souvenir

Reg# 55685 – Cst. Fabrice Georges Gevaudan, 45, from Boulogne-Billancourt, France
Reg# 54868 – Cst. Dave Joseph Ross, 32, from Victoriaville, Quebec
Reg # 49269 – Cst Douglas James Larche, 40, from Saint John, New Brunswick

End of Watch, Moncton June 4, 2014

Tamara “Faces of PTSD”

Tamara

Tamara

Tamara, I’m not a part of the RCMP but I feel like I am. My mom was a dispatcher for 30 years, Dad was a constable for over 25, my sister and brother in law are both current RCMP members in Calgary and Airdrie. Myself, I’m a 911 dispatcher for the Lethbridge Regional Police in Southern Alberta as well a Fire/Ambulance dispatch for the majority of the south. I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2013 after taking some pretty traumatic calls. For a dispatcher, or at least for me, I visualize my call while I’m taking it (which is a fault) and when I’m done I hang up and start my next one. To me, every call is a movie. E very call is a movie that ends 3/4 of the way through. As Dispatchers, we don’t get to know the ending of most of the calls we have unless someone has died on our phone or on a positive light, a baby is born. Generally speaking, our phone isn’t ringing because you’re having the best day of your life, it’s usually because it’s the worst. I remember taking a pedestrian collision where my caller told me the patient was breathing but had blood on her face. I stayed on the line with my brave caller and continued to make sure everything was ok until police and paramedics got there. Once I hung up with my caller my phone rang again. As normal I carried on and picked it up. Over the radio I heard one of our police officers say, “The patient is DOA…” At that point right there I didn’t even know what to think. I was told the patient was breathing, she was ok. I could have done CPR, I felt like it was my fault she died. My caller was in shock and didn’t see what the scene actually was like. There was a lot more trauma and blood than he told me and she couldn’t have been breathing. Every single day I work I pick up the phone and hope the best. You never know how you will respond to a certain call, it might be the strangest one that can be your breaking point. I have had children and adults die on the phone, I’ve heard horrific screams and noises I can’t even explain. One of the things that gets me through every single day is the saying “You’re only as good as your caller”. Like my pedestrian collision, I couldn’t have changed a single thing about it-I couldn’t change the outcome. I was only as good as my caller. It took a lot of therapy and time off to realize this. I believe I’m a better person from going through the steps of PTSD. I do not wish it on anyone but I have an amazing support system in my family, my husband and child and I have some of the best coworkers who stood by me during my darkest times. As a dispatcher, our main job is to make sure the men and women of Police, Fire and Ambulance get home safely. We make sure the people who need help get help-we keep people safe. If we don’t keep each other safe, who will? Tamara Currie Police/Fire/Ems dispatcher

Faces Of PTSD

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